1892

dads review of mitski

bakabon-no-papa

i found a christian retelling of the first harry potter book and it claims that birthdays are unholy and are made up

bakabon-no-papa

some highlights

• Ron is a Slytherin
  
• Draco is a Ravenclaw AND a mysogonist
  
• Snape isn’t a cunt and is really nice and caring towards Harry
  
• Angels have replaced owls
  
• Dean Thomas is a main character for no reason
  
• Dumbledore isn’t gay and is married to a woman and is ALSO Hermionies dad
  
• It doesn’t take place in the UK for some reason
  
• Wizard duels are now called pray-offs

I’ll add more when i read more

bakabon-no-papa

more

• Harry converts Draco into being a Gryffindor (who are depicted as pitch perfect Christians who follow the bible closely and only take orders from God)
  
• Eco friendly-ness is bad apparently
  
• Voldemort has hair
  
• Believing in evolution is apparently Satanic
  
• Voldemort wanted to make Christianity ILLEGAL
  
• Voldemort ALSO has a Reddit account
  
• Dumbledore calls Reddit a “godless coven”
  
• THEY LITERALLY TRY AND CONVERT VOLDEMORT INTO BEING A CHRISTIAN
  
• Harry says that Voldemort has been tricked by the lies of society and that he deserves to burn in hell 
  
• ““I’m just so upset that you don’t accept the Bible,” Hermionie sobbed femininely. “The Bible is the best book ever. Why can’t you respect that?”“
  
• Voldemort is described as a fornicating, drug-addicted evolutionist (Actually, this is what the author says that all Evolutionists are like this)
  

I can’t believe i found a fic to rival My Immortal

sleepy-loopin

This is some anti My Immortal shit

sorry

how does one sob femininely? 

asymbina

I would assume that it’s anything other than shedding a single silent, manly tear

rhube

“Hermionie sobbed femininely.”

gooseweasel

Good Backwards World Building: In the Harry Potter: Hogwarts Mystery mobile game, your player character must learn the charm Silencio, which causes the target to temporarily be unable to make any sound, during their fifth year at Hogwarts. During the class, it is revealed that one of the side effects of a failed Silencio charm is for the target of the spell to begin to swell uncontrollably. For players who are clever and remember the books, this will ring a bell- it was never explained why Aunt Marge in The Prisoner of Azkaban started swelling up when Harry got angry, only that he accidentally did magic. This reveal shows that in anger, his subconscious was likely trying to “shut her up”, causing a mis-cast Silencio charm, and therefore the side-effect of swelling. The reveal doesn’t change anything about the characters or their motivations, or add anything in particular to the plot. It’s just a neat bit of trivia.

Bad Backwards World Building: JKR tweets that [x] was part of [x minority group], even though there was no indication of such in the text, simply because it adds representation in hindsight.  

endlesskehlani

miamaroo

just bought the flaming raging poisoning sword of doom at Claire’s

witchesgrove

I deeply desire a Victorian glass greenhouse with all kinds of flowers and herbs, air ferns hanging from all places, and a trickling water fountain to create an atmosphere of serenity.